"Where Do You Get Off Having Tits?!"

I couldn't sleep last night and sat up watching Just One of the Guys. I remembered this movie as being one that I had seen a few times with friends from down the street. A wee lass of seven viewing this movie while playing with Barbies and contemplating the complexities of gender roles and the coming of age. Suffice to say my seven year old brain couldn't wrap itself around these concepts. Not to mention the fact that there were a pair of breasts involved. "Did she just show her boobies?" Yes, she really did just show her boobies.

Somewhere around two in the morning last night it dawned on me how incredibly backwards this movie really was. Just One of the Guys bit off more than it could chew when the main character finds herself as the subject of sexism from her high school journalism teacher. Sexism in the 80's? The only way to solve this problem is to dress in drag. Am I right, ladies?

Terry Griffith, (first of all, Terry?) decides to write a winning article by using herself as the subject matter, testing her theory on the treatment of boys and girls. I'd like to pause here a moment and point out Terry's transformation into a boy. They made her into the most stylish, homosexual dude that ever drove a white convertible. The only tip she received from her sex-on-the-brain little brother was this: "Itch your balls a lot." With only that knowledge and a bad haircut, Terry decides she's ready to test her skills as a boy in another high school. Here is where the ridiculousness truly begins.

I think the writers, (yes, two men) took everything they knew about women, especially younger women, and shoved them into a 90 minute screenplay. No matter what Terry did, her feminine side just kept showing itself. Overhearing the high school's popular girl Deborah loudly complaining about the missing back to her earring, Terry couldn't help but bless her with her crafty tip. This happens several times and Terry keeps catching herself commenting on girls' shoes, bringing Rick Morehouse lunch and helping him jazz up his wardrobe to score a date for the Prom. It's true...girls are great at cooking, dressing and helping their secret gay crush find a new style.

Now onto Rick Morehouse. I honestly wish this guy had gone on to make things someone on the planet has actually seen. He was a fox. He was the 80's version of the 90's Ethan Embry...the quiet nerd who has a random and amazing interest. Rick's love for James Brown matched Ethan Embry's love for Kurt Vonnegut. When are we going to realize that the guys who are into James Brown and Kurt Vonnegut do not get the hot girl of the school? What in the world were they thinking when they made Can't Hardly Wait and had breathy Jennifer Love Hewitt and her stupid angel t-shirt and platforms chase down Ethan Embry to profess her mutual crush? Ridiculous. I digress. Rick Morehouse... foxy nerd who loves James Brown. How Rick never caught on to the fact that Terry was either a flaming homosexual or that Terry was in fact a stylish girl dressed up as a stylish and petite guy...well, I just don't know. Maybe he's a really stupid foxy nerd.

The movie throws stereotype after stereotype of gender roles in your face. Greg Tolan played by William Zabka for example. (That's right, the jerk from Karate Kid.) He plays another jerk in Just One of the Guys by beating up on high school freshmen and dumping cafeteria tables onto the floor for fun. He also has an entourage of equally ridiculous homoerotic jocks who follow him around the whole movie taking work-out tips from Greg. Keep in mind that Terry is going around handing out fashion advice. Men and women...they just can't help themselves.

They also had Terry offer up the only stereotypes she knew about males. When Rick invites Terry in, Terry exclaims, "Well I was going to go tune up my car and play some football, but uh...I've got time." Once inside, Rick offers Terry a beer to which Terry answers, "Sure, I'll take a brewski." The writers not only generalized their characters, but they made their characters generalize themselves. Even up until the point where Buddy the younger brother, sad from another female rejection, sits and eats chocolates to console himself.

Terry is revealed, of course, as being a girl. This happens in possibly one of the most memorable scenes of the movie. Well, thought the directors, we've got to have her show off her boobs. And show off her boobs she did. It was that pivotal scene at the Prom, when the moment was finally right for Terry to reveal her womanhood secret to Rick. She does this by whipping open her tux to reveal her perfect un-brassiered breasts. "Where do you get off having tits?!" was Rick's reaction. Well, thought the world, she gets off having tits just fine. Ridiculous!


Rick comes to his senses and goes back to tell Terry that being a girl is just fine. Not only that, but that he misses him, err her, oh whatever. They start to leave and Rick hits the final nail on the coffin with, "As long as I can drive." Whatever Terry's article worked to prove failed miserably as she drove off into the sunset with Rick Morehouse behind the wheel, her dumb doily-like dress blowing in the wind. If only she had taken the reigns of this situation, it would've been a completely different film.